Giving access to tree.....

[Dennis]

Hello


I've spent a lot of time, both my own and with assistance from the generous group on TS, & £, $ on my tree ( about 1200 folk ). I received a request from a person who would be the child of a 3rd cousin one-time removed to see my tree. I have been given access to that person's tree and all there is are the person and their parents.

I don't know what to do in response to the person's request. I'm hoping to receive a 'what I would do is' from you folk.

dennis

[JimM]

I understand what you mean Dennis...but I'll give you my view from the other side of the coin.

When starting out a year or so ago I was kindly given access to another members tree but I felt guilty about claiming the shared ancestors.
I didn't add the names to my own tree until I had looked them up and paid my "dues".

Jim

[CatrionaL]

Hi Dennis

I would part with a little information from my tree, while encouraging the other person to continue the research on their line. You can always keep in touch so that you can share future finds. I would also let the person know how much more fun it is (though occasionaly frustrating) to find new facts ourselves, rather than have it all handed to us on a plate.

Perhaps when you know the other person better, have had the opportunity to see how he/she reacts and uses the info, you'll be happy to give him/her free acces to your tree.

All the best
Catriona

[JustJean]

Hello Dennis

This type of query has come up before and I'm sure will continue to pop up over and over. It's the kind of thing that happens sooner or later to all of us! All I can say is you have no obligation to turn over any of your hard earned research.....and if you have a "funny" feeling about it then you should trust your instincts. I can also tell you that establishing a relationship with long lost family can be one of the most rewarding parts of genealogy! I've experienced some real joy corresponding with new found cousins around the world. The opportunity to learn about our past isn't always restricted to the black and white data on the page.

Good luck in your decision.....and best wishes in your future searching..

Jean

[LesleyB]

Hi Dennis
I understand the dilemma. I don't really mind giving access to my tree as such - but I would tend only to give the "bare bones" (if you'll excuse the halloween joke) of the thing i.e. names, dates. I'll happily give access to my tree on Genes Renuited (to anyone who has a connection to it - not just anyone!) as the info is quite limited - just names & dob. But I don't tend to give all the copious notes & where I found the info - I've found stuff in originals and films of OPRs relating to my lot which the LDS have got hopelessly wrong! (I'm sure I'm not the only one.) If I find we are in a swapping info situation then I'll happily swap like for like. Photos, newspaper cuttings etc. I've visited one "found" cousin and had one stay...twice!

Several years back when I was starting out I found a cousin on-line who was several times removed and she very helpfully gave me names & dates etc. of one branch which of course I then had to go and look up myself to check it and fill-out the details to turn these bare facts into real people. Oddly though, I've always felt a bit removed from that branch of the tree - I don't feel as connected to them as the other branches and I wonder if it was because I didn't have to slog to get there?

I'd be tempted, I think, to give them the part of your tree that is relevant to them and not the whole thing.

Best wishes
Lesley

[Tracey]

Hello Dennis

Fortunaltely most people who you share your info with are greatful and will share back. In my case i would still be at square one if i hadnt found my dads cousins in Scotland. I was recently asked by someone if they can view my tree and i said no it isnt up to date (lie) but I told him i would send a gedcom. He said he would send one back. His one consisted of the recent living which is of no use to me. I sent him one of his gt grandmother and a few generations on and he was most dissapointed that i hadnt sent him the whole of my tree. The whole of my tree has nothing to do with him (In my opinion) one side being Scottish and not his. When someone approaches me now i dont give access but depending on who they are send a small gedcom with the names concerned. My guard is now up as i have found my whole tree appearing elsewhere ( i went balistic and they removed it ! I really wouldnt have minded if they had asked me or given me some credit - which to me makes all the difference but they didnt). And like some on here once i have been given names i dont add them to my tree unless i have asked thier permission or i research some more so i can back up or dismiss what they have told me.

Its swings and roundabouts ............We do this to find connections and answers yet when you find someone has stolen all you have researched and paid for it really (expletive).... you off !

Anyone researching my names will find them on a site. I am just waiting for the first court case "They stole my tree and i want my research fees back !" I doubt it will be long ....................

I for one have become quite attached to who i have found and am very protective of my (dead) forebears

[StewL]

Dennis

I recently was contacted by a distant cousin, but instead of sending my whole tree I just sent him the information relevant to the line we were both descended from. I didnt do this to "protect" what I had found myself, but really it was not relevant to send any of the other information.

I didnt use a .ged though, I just typed it up, although there wasnt exactly a horde of the long losts, but typing is not a problem for me if it was a few.

It is really a grey area, and perhaps as others have said, a wee taste to see their reaction might be in order.

[Scozzie]

Oh dear, poor Dennis! I've been on both sides of that situation (but I started off with at least great-grandparents). I've been lucky enough to be given loads of family information by some very generous people (thanks Marilyn), and hopefully have been able to swap information to others. BUT! I found a distant cousin on Genes - she kept giving excuses about having to update her tree - which I still don't have access to, despite numerous requests. Now when I go looking for name matches there, I find she has almost my whole family, right down to my grandparents. Makes me mad. You win some, you lose some.

[joette]

My search into my family tree was for several reasons the most compelling for me was to find lost connections.
I am extremely lucky that my Aunt & Mother started this search in the sixties & that my Fathers side left behind Banns,Marriage Proclomation,Death Certificates letters & photos.From these I was able to join a lot of dots that would have been unconnected otherwise.
I am LDS & we consider it part of our "salvation" to seek out our kindred dead.We believe that "Families are Forever" & not just for mortality.
That is why so much of our Money has& still goes in this research.
We have all this data & we could keep it to ourselves but we share & that goes for me.Its not just my Family there may be others out there without the resources,the inclination, the know how to research as I have done.
I have always been brought up to love & be proud of who I am & who I come from which I am.
Having said all that I can understand wanting to"protect" your knowledge & sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind.
Go with what makes you comfortable & offer a hand of help if needed.
My happiest moment in my research so far was when the Great-Niece of my Great-Aunt made contact with me.Although we have no connection of blood-there might be further back coincidentally we are still trying to "prove it" I felt like I had found Family.We were able to fill in gaps for each other & I happily gave her things she didnt have about her side.Her GGreat Granny had intrigued me & despite the fact she wasnt "family" I had gone digging.I dont know who gave the most but we are both happy.

[Sobil]

I think the beauty of a family tree is in knowing you are a part of something much bigger and more international than perhaps you originally thought. I haven't spent much money on my tree but I have spent thousands of hours and know that the kindness and generosity of others is something I can never repay.... but hopefully I can pass it on.

We don't own our trees, we only own the documents or copies of documents found along the way and I see no reason why everytime you forward a copy to a "reluctant researcher" you couldn't append a little note explaining a small donation towards collating information would be very much appreciated.

What is the point having all that wonderful history if you lock it away and never share it. There will be a day, albeit far off, when all this information is collated in one place and to know you were a part of it is reward enough. Our poor descendents will never know the thrill of the chase!

I can never repay the kindness of others but I can use my new talents to help others.

Sobil