Adoption

[AnnieMack]

In the course of loading my rellies into a new programme and reviewing the notes I have collected over a long period of time, I decided to google a name that was actually different from what I thought.

To my astonishment the name came up in it's entirety with reference to another surname that I was aware of but didn't know where it was connected. The name was on a website for adopted people and their families searching for each other.

To say I am shocked is an understatement. Both people are likely still alive, one is 5 years younger than me so I won't make any reference to names but I am quite saddened that my cousin felt it necessary to have her baby adopted. I have also found a reference to the mum whereby she uses her maiden name and married name in a hyphenated fashion popular in the US. I am wondering if she is using both names to enable her child to find her?

I have now sent out emails to both parent and child's last known contact details. I hope they reply but wonder at whether I should tell the other if I have contact.

Sad family secret I reckon

Annie

[keewik]

I can understand how sad you feel. I don't know when this was, but the outlook used to be so bleak for unmarried pregnant girls and there was the terrible shame. Adoption was never a decision taken lightly. I used to be involved in adoption work and interviewed many girls/women for the final Court report. I can only think of one person out of very many who didn't end up in tears, and maybe she was just better at bottling things up.

You may well have done a very good thing in making the contact. I think it might be best to see what response you get before deciding whether to tell them you've tried to contact both.

good luck.

[christine1952]

as a reunited adoptee i do hope you manage to bring them back together

love chrissey