Skeletons in cupboards.....

[mallog]

I just found out today that a relative died in an asylum. It amused me because previous to this I was quite proud that he had obtained an M.A. at Edinburgh in the 1880's even although he came from a poor Argyll family. He's beginning to sound more like my family now.

[ninatoo]

My mother was quite upset when I told her that her granny, who has always been described to me as a "good Catholic" was born to Protestant Irish parents. When she married, she took the faith of her husband.

I think she is over this now, as someone had pointed out to me that often the converts were sometimes better than those born to it, so I passed this on to mum.. Also it was a decision she made and she remained faithful to it all her life. And she must have been a good woman anyway, whatever faith she had!

Another thing which more amused and vindicated my mother was the fact that my paternal granny was pregnant when she married...so was my mum, but my granny always made her feel like dirt because of it. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

Nina

[joette]

Yes Nina that's exactly what happened to my Granny.She & my Grandapa were courting for over seven years & engaged for three.However the death of her Father left her an orphan with younger siblings one who had to go into an orphanage until my Grandparents had a home of their own.
The depression was on & my Grandpa was "paid off" when his time was out.They finally married when she became pregnant although she was only about three months gone.On checking the Marriage & Birth details for my Great-Grandparents they were married in the July & their first child born in Nov.She so castigated my Granny & as they lived with the in-laws for the first two years she made Granny's life a bit difficult!!Grandpa was the youngest son & the "Apple of the eye" child.You would have thought she had gotten pregnant all on her own!Talk about double standards.

[Maud Jarvis]

I find it very amusing now to find that on both sides of my family there have been numerous illegitimate births.
When I remember the way my mother ranted on to me about keeping "pure" and her being so strict! no wonder , she must have been thinking of all those illegitimate births that had happened, but to have heard her talk, you would have thought sex did not exist!!! and as for my existence, well. that was an accident!. This was what she told my late husband some years ago, during a conversation they had been having

I cannot recall exactly what they were talking about, but it obviously must have touched on the subject of limiting your family in some way, and the fact that my husband and I had only had one child, I could not become pregnant again as it would have been dangerous for my state of health, I had a "weak" heart (I have actually had two heart surgeries, as a result of having had rheumatic fever I now have two articficial heart valves)
so I think she must have been under the impression that we did not have a sex life in case I became pregnant!
I remember her saying to me, after my first heart operation in 1967, that we would now have to be very very careful, (nudge nudge, you know what I mean) although she did mention to me, with a straight face (I could hardly keep mine straight) that I may have to "submit sometimes.." pooor soul I thought afterwards, this must have been the way in which she viewed the sex act, it was something she submitted to, but obviously it HAD been planned at various set times, since there was exactly 4 years between each of her children, except for ME, so now I knew, I was an ACCIDENT, my poor dad, he must have had
an awful lecture for that lapse, especially as I arrived during what was known as the "idleset" years(the depression) when nearly everyone was out of work.

Had she been still living when I made these discoveries, I do not think I could have confrunted her with them, it would have been an awful shock to her I think, having kept so ,much secret all her life, and it would have been cruel to destroy her belief that at least I would never know about these terrible scandals of the past.
So I think, one should pause carefully and think, before announcing to any very eldery relatives the juicy skeletons discovered.

[ninatoo]

I actually broke a long standing family tradition when I DIDN'T walk down the aisle with one on the way!

[Rachel]

I have found so many skeletons that I could set up as a rag and bone merchant. I am not offended by any of them as I accept that life was hard and they made the best of things. I only have two sisters one still in Glasgow she is not too keen on knowing some things so I don't often tell her. My eldest sister is in NZ and I love to tell her over the telephone about some of our kin as she hoots with laughter.The reason being, our mother was a straight laced wee body and funnily enough it is from her side of the family that most of the skeletons come.
I do accept that it is right to keep some things quiet. A sister in law of mine asked if I would like to do some research on the 'Homers' I found a few skeletons and she was delighted but the grand dam of the family was not amused so I stopped right away. Yes I think we researchers should keep our counsel unless it is welcomed by others who may be affected.
rachel