How can you feel so bereft over a 1876 Death?.....

[SuperTrouper]

My Grannys brother went to America at the age of 18. Somehow he managed to join the 7th U.S.Cavalry and was in Texas when they went over the border searching for Pancho Villa in 1916. In 1917 he was in the National Guard Mounted Military Police as a horseshoer in Camp Wadsworth South Carolina where thousands of young men had been sent for training to fight in Europe. How sad then to find that he died in the winter of 1918 when the Great Flu Pandemic hit the camp. He was only 24 .
My mum had kept all the cards and photos etc he had sent to my Gran and I only found them after her death. They spurred me into finding out more of what his life would have been like and I've found the internet to be a fantastic source of information.

[SarahND]

Hi SuperTrouper (and welcome to Talking Scot!)
Isn't it interesting how poignant stories like this can get us going on the search. I started mine by trying to find information on my grandmother, who died in childbirth producing her only child, my mother. It just seemed so UNFAIR, that she should have gone through all that, only to be forgotten... so I was determined to find out more about her and bring her back to life, so to speak. Bit of a shock when I finally found a photo of her and saw my own face looking out at me And people in the family had always wondered who I looked like, since I don't look like my siblings...
All the best,
Sarah

[emanday]

I've always known that my Dad's mother died in 1920 of TB when he was only three. We had one photograph of her and everyone said I looked just like her. I was even named after her.

That was it as far as I was concerned! A woman I'd never known and who my Dad could barely remember.

Then I found her Death on SP with my Grandad's signature as the informant. Suddenly this was My Gran! I wept buckets for my loss. She was the only one of my grandparents I'd never known and I suddenly felt the same grief for her loss as I'd done when my other grandparents each died.

Family is family, no matter how far back we go!

[kathyc]

I've always known that my mother's sister died of polio at the age of six. My mum was only one and didn't remember her at all, though of course knew of her. Last week, I was given a new-to-me album of old family photos to look through and came across pictures of my young aunt when she was vibrant and innocent and close to the same age my own daughter is now. That's when it hit me for the first time that this was a real person who'd lived and played and left her relatives grieving. I didn't cry, though, until I saw my grandfather's shaky signature on the register of her death, so different from the way I saw his name signed so many other times. That started me weeping.

Kathy

[heymarky]

Some of the U. S. Censuses have columns for "How many children born" and "How many children living". It's really sad to scan down the page and see how many children didn't outlive their mothers.

[AnneMT]

I too have some sad stories.

My maternal grandfather was Peter Watters (born 1872), the youngest of 8 children of Irish parents. The eldest boy was born 1857. I can trace the family up to 1881 census, when the parents "disappear".

I cannot find death certificates for their parents, and cannot understand why parents would abandon a child of 8-9 years of age. I may be looking, but not seeing, but others have checked and not found them. They surely would not have gone back to Ireland, and left my grandfather in care of older siblings?. One of his brothers, apparently slapped him on the ear and caused him to be deaf for rest of his life.

I also have two orphaned brothers on Brogan side of family. They were born in 1886 and 1889. Their father and grandfather died in 1890, one month apart. Their mother died in 1891, and their grandmother in 1893. I was compelled to try to find out what happened, but since they were so young, 1901 census gave little info to help. Eventually, I found marr. certs for one boy, at Park Circus. The other, however, I have yet to find.

Obviously both cases need a lot of research, unfortunately I need to spread my time and energy on other projects.

[Lorna Allison]

Oof, wrong time of night to come across this thread. I am feeling so guilty now.

The reason I started family history was because of a great desire to find out about my Welsh grandmother, left without parents at aged 7 and silent on the subject all her life. I knew only the nicknames of her two older sisters. My husband's family took precedence at first because I hadn't a clue how to search in Wales, then, after finding TS and mentioning the Welsh scenario MaryE took up the story and . . . . . things started happening in a big way.

The upshot was that I tracked down the 2 sisters, found my grandmother had been taken in by a young uncle of 27 and his wife but my joy at finding a baby brother was tempered by the fact that he appeared on a birth cert. only to disappear after his mother died when he was 17 months old. (The father abandoned the family after the death of his young wife. A bit of the "chocolate teapot" scenario there too I fear.

Just weeks ago someone on TS mentioned a free searchable database for NSW and (as there was a vague hint of a baby being "sent to Australia")when I did a search I found a John of the right age with the surname of CURZON - same as the Uncle's who took in my grandmother. There was also a Charles Curzon, that was the same name as Uncle's father. These were marriage entries. Aha, thinks I that looks very hopeful. Then I got to the bit that said "Buy" and I took cold feet, thinking "Australia? That will cost a fortune".

All that diatribe just to say that you have made me feel so guilty. There might be my grandma's lost wee brother. He may not even have known that he was a PRICE and not a Curzon. Resolution - I am going to find out whether I can afford to find out - if you know what I mean

Thanks for that,

Lorna

[Russell]

Hi Lorna

This is one of those times when you can't afford NOT to find out

Sad stories need a resolution just for your own peace of mind.

Russell

[joette]

Well said Russell & I would nae be so hard on the Fathers either it just was not expected of them to look after such young children & if there was an alternative then that's what happened -usually a Granny or Auntie or Uncle with a wife.That's also why widows/widowers remarried so quickly-It is hard work today bringing up wains on your own -how much harder then?
Having said that I have a strong thread of Father's bringing up their children& step-children & in the case of my GGreat-Grandpa Alexander Waddell he raised his own,his step-children & his late sister-in-laws daughter.He worked for a time at Dollar Academy-he was a forester & a mason so some type of maintanance work I presume.My G-Grandpa went missing when Daddy had him at work & a great search went up.He was eventually found fast asleep in the case of a clock in the building.
My GGGreat-Grandfather came from Ireland with his six wains & made a new start in Scotland.
My G-Grandpa also took on his children sole care although in poor health & tried his best right up to the end.
I have Mothers/Sons leaving their illegitimate offspring with their Mothers & in one Isabella McKimmie nee Moir she is left with about four offspring from two of her daughters & her son to raise.She ran her croft so maybe she was glad of the help & she lived to a ripe old age too.
We just don't know how desperate a parent might have been & if authority got involved they may have had little or no power over their children again.

[Lorna Allison]

Well said Joette. That was an unkind, throw away remark I made. Sorry, G Grandpa Price

Actually, the story was that he couldn't cope after his young wife's death, lost the butcher's business in Pontypool and committed suicide. However, I discovered that he was living with his parents at the next census and both he and his father were working as gardeners in the Newport area. His mother had taken in two illegitimate children by that time from her daughters and I guess that in straightened circs. she couldn't possibly have managed any more.

He vanished by the next census and I have searched diligently, have two very suitable deaths (both in the workhouse) but neither a suicide and of course, being in Wales, no addresses or nice details of relatives just the Workhouse manager. There are a lot of John Prices in Wales and I have limited my search to Monmouthshire. Maybe one of these days I shall throw the net wider, but my courage fails me at the moment.

No - wee boy John Charles Price does warrant a bit of the old sillar spent on him so I'll get on to that

Lorna