Stillbirth and child mortality.....

[Alcluith]

While carrying out a search of a lair register of a local cemetery, looking for the last resting place of my great grandmother, I started to realise just how many stillbirths and children under the age of 5 had died during the time of my research (1800 -1940s). What is more sad is than in the majority of stillbirth cases the are no parent or child's name just "stillbirth".

Incidentally I did find my great grandmother aged 23 in the communal burial section listed as "Mrs William James" no mention of her own name and of course no way of knowing just where her final resting place is.

[nelmit]

While carrying out a search of a lair register of a local cemetery, looking for the last resting place of my great grandmother, I started to realise just how many stillbirths and children under the age of 5 had died during the time of my research (1800 -1940s). What is more sad is than in the majority of stillbirth cases the are no parent or child's name just "stillbirth".

Incidentally I did find my great grandmother aged 23 in the communal burial section listed as "Mrs William James" no mention of her own name and of course no way of knowing just where her final resting place is.

Drew,

My first son was stillborn at 44 weeks in 1980 and due to lack of advice and care was buried in a communal grave with no name, although I was told otherwise by the hospital staff. He was just whisked away and I never saw him. I have never been able to bring myself to look at the book but, my mum found out, he was buried there about 4 weeks after he was 'born'.
I was not even allowed to give him a name although I'm glad to say that has now changed.

Regards,
Annette M

[Tracey]

Annette

My eyes are filling up reading your post. I cant really post my thoughts on the Authorities as they are too colourful.

My family had a lair search done on my gt grandmothers grave and found that there were 6 grandchildren buried with her who all died in infancy. Two of them had the same mother and died within two weeks of each other. Also in the lair was her mother my gt gt grandmother who died 1921. My gt grandmothers son who died 1910 is in the same cemetary in an unmarked grave.

Tracey

[joette]

Oh Annette so sorry about your baby.Things I am glad to say have changed & Parents are encouraged to name a lost child even in early pregnancy.
My nephew's partner has just lost their second baby in the very early stages of pregnancy & their grief especially my nephew's was heartbreaking.
A very dear friend's child died after a premature delivery & it was heartrending to see that tiny white coffin but at least he has a name & somewhere they can go to remember him.
I recall going through the burials of a Parish(online but can't remember where!) &the number of deaths of babies/Mothers was astonishing.Most had names which did surprise me now if only I could remember where it was.
I suppose when life was harsh it was just to painful to name & humanise a child who hadn't even drawn breath.

[Cathy]

Like Tracey, I had a lair search done, and was surprised by what I found.
After some paperwork with the Crematorium Dept., I had a named headstone put on the unmarked grave.

[Alison Plenderleith]

Hello Annette,

I haven't been logging in as often as usual as I came to Scotland suddenly at the begining of January when my step-mum had a heart attack, so I've only just seen your reply to Drew's post.

I'm so sorry for what you went through.

I know my mum and dad had a still born baby before I was born, and although they knew which cemetery he was in, they knew no more than that, but that was some time in the early fifties. I didn't realise the situation was like that so recently.

Thankfully, as has been said, things have now changed, but it doesn't stop the pain that you and so many have felt.

With best wishes,

Alison

[MaryE]

Annette

How sad that your stillborn son was taken away without a chance to be held and named by you. Thankfully I think things have changed now but this doesn't help those who went through such a trauma earlier.

As an only child myself I had always wanted to have four children. We had a son and daughter born in 1970 and 1972 and I was expecting our third child in 1974. In the early stages I had unknowingly been in contact with German measles and after several problems I eventually lost the baby about halfway through the pregnancy. In hospital one of the first nurses I came into contact with said, presumably intending to be encouraging, 'Well, you didn't really want this one anyway, did you? You've already got two.' I hope that this couldn't happen these days either.

Happily we had another son and daughter in 1975 and 1977 but I still occasionally think about that lost one - I don't even know if it was a son or daughter and for a child who hadn't reached the stage of being 'born' there wouldn't even have been a grave.

Mary

[joette]

Mary E my Aunt unknowingly was in contact with German Measles early on in her fourth pregnancy but my Mother could remember her having the same as a child so nobody was worried.
Bruce was born after a ten month pregnancy seemingly healthy but it soon became apparent he had problems.He survived for four days with only two chambers(not fully developed even) in his heart.The medics could not even believe he was born alive & also that he had survived as long as he did-this was in the early seventies.
This prompted my Mother to have all her girls "jabbed" against the same going to some trouble to do so.
When my elder sister had her first child they checked her for antibodies against German Measles to find she had none! They had to repeat her immunisation & the same happened after her other two pregnancies.
So all you out there although German Measles is a usually mild "nuisance" for the sufferrer it can have devestating affects on the unborn child.

[DavidWW]

I was involved in a forward trace recently, starting from a family of 11 wains in the 1830s/1850s.

8 died in infancy, and 1, single, in her 20s.

Of the two sons who survived, one appeared to have had no children from his marriage, and the other had 10, but 4 died in infancy.

In no way whatsoever am I trying to diminish the terrible tragedy of a stillborn child in the last few decades, but just ask everyone to pause for a minute and thank medical science for the tremendous advances of the last century or so.

In fact, there are some experts who argue that while there have indeed been many tremendous medical breakthroughs in the last century or so, the more important ones in terms of our health and the massive decreases in infant mortality are due to clean water and good sanitation, along with greatly improved living conditions, - e.g. that family with 11 wains lived in a "single end", - a one room apartment..........

Another situation that I quote frequently relates to a family in N Lanarkshire in the late 1800s, where none of four brothers and their father survived beyond their late 30s/early 40s. Causes of death were variously shown as bronchitis and asthma. All were miners, - and it's near certain that today their causes of death would be recognised as either pneumoconiosis and/or emphysema, i.e. industrial diseases !

Even today asbestosis continues to take a terrible toll. My professor at university worked for one summer when he was a student at a shipbreakers on Clydeside, - the pipes that he took to bits were lagged with asbestos. He died 15 years ago at the age of 55..................

David

In another incarnation, a (bio)chemical engineer, who has worked in the field of potable water treatment and wastewater (read "sewage") treatment on and off for around 20 years of my professional career.
dww

[Russell]

It has taken the medical profession a long time to realise that having carried a child for 7,8,9, or months there is a huge investment of care, longing and love built up. Yet it was only around 1990 that I was asked to talk to a group of midwives about loss and helping them to deal with the grief of losing a child specifically a stillborn child. None of their doctors would do it
The essentials they expressed were:To hold
to know
to name
to acknowledge
to say goodbye
Who says nurses can be hard! We were all in tears by the end of the sessions. What's more, a couple of the midwives felt able, for the first time, to talk about their own experience.

Russell